Sweatpants, big t-shirt, same socks, brush teeth, wash face, say my goodnights, clean off my bed, take off all jewlery, get in bed, turn off the lights, unlock my phone, text, tumblr, instagram, write, look through old pictures, find sleep playlist, play a song. Try-not-to-think-so-much. On good nights i’ll be in bed by 11 or 12. On bad nights I might not be able to fall asleep until 3 or 4am. And on really bad nights, i’m asleep by 9pm or 10ish. I use Listerine some nights-

I remember my parents used to always tell me the night before Christmas: “the faster you fall asleep- the sooner Santa will come!” And so I closed my eyes and tomorrow came. But what I didn’t realize was every time I closed my eyes I was getting older and older. I remember still tasting his chapstick as I walked away from my first kiss. I don’t remember closing my eyes. But I think I remember knowing I was supposed to close them so I could feel something. I remember my

I was living fast. My mind was running quick to the past and quick to the future. It was like looking out of a car window, allowing the passing cars- this time, the passing people with cigarettes and drinks in their hands be the escape- the kind of blur that allowed my mind to be anywhere but where I was. I was that fast. I was second- fastest. He was living fast. He was one of the fast ones. He was the fastest actually. You could tell in the way he smiled he was already thin

I had gone to the doctors yesterday to check up on my symptoms. It was weird- they never happened at the same time. I had chest pains, but it felt scary good. And my mind got all dizzy sometimes. But that felt like a high I had never experienced before. And my hands- my hands sometimes.. they would ache and i would find myself clenching them, reaching for anything to hold tight. I hated that feeling. And my breaths. They were short. And it sometimes felt like I had stopped br

I’ll tell you the obvious first. I don’t like ice in my hot chocolate. The heat takes away from the chocolate- I can taste it better the colder the drink gets. But my dad uses it in his coffee. He used to be like me and drink coffee at room temperature. But something about the switch in the universe changed him too. He keeps flowers in the house now too. It scares me some nights- how often he brings them home. Even my mom likes those prickly things… This new universe feels da

Her name was Karen. I don’t know why Karen- it sounds like an older name- anyways. Karen never liked new white converse but she was wearing them that day to the party. She liked the old shoes- the ones that had gone places, done things, the ones with stories in them. She liked stories- mysteries especially. But even more so- mysteries in people. (She sounds old for her age… a girl leaving for her first boy girl party. So forgive me if the age and story doesn’t align.) Tyler w